2023年英文简历中不该出现的话.docx

英文简历中不该出现的话 致命的大错 “Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10.〞 “Qualifications: No education or experience.〞 “I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy.〞 “My compensation should be at least equal to my age.〞 “Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC.〞 “Fired because I fought for lower pay.〞 “Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 65〞 . “Please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date.〞 “Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near.〞 “Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word paranoia. I prefer to elaborate privately.〞 打字错误与语法错误 “Here are my qualifications for you to overlook.〞 “Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer.〞 “I am a rabid typist.〞 “Work History: Performed brain wave tests,1879-1981.〞 “After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to pursue a new line of work.〞 “Accounting cleric.〞 “As indicted, I have over five years of experience analyzing investments.〞 “Suspected to graduate earlynce analyzing investments.〞 “Suspected to graduate early next year.〞 “Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets.〞 “Proven ability to track down and correct erors.〞 “Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department.〞 “Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.〞 “Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school.〞 不应有的幽默 “Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house.〞 “Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting.〞 (Translation: Short-order cook.) “But wait...theres more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature.〞 “I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.〞 “My fortune cookie said, Your next interview will result in a job-and I like your company in particular.〞 “Title: Another resume from the Profiles in Excellence series.〞 “Also Known As: Mr. Productivity, Mr. Clever, Mr.Fix-it.〞 “Trustworthy references available upon request-if I give them a few bucks.〞 “Lets meet so you can ooh and ahh over my experience.〞 此资料由网络收集而来，如有侵权请告知上传者立即删除。资料共分享，我们负责传递知识。