@翻了个译，MTI专业辅导@翻了个译，MTI专业辅导I'mheretodaytotalkaboutadisturbingquestion,whichhasanequallydisturbinganswer.Mytopicisthesecretsofdomesticviolence,andthequestionI'mgoingtotackleistheonequestioneveryonealwaysasks:Whydoesshestay?Whywouldanyonestaywithamanwhobeatsher?I'mnotapsychiatrist,asocialworkeroranexpertindomesticviolence.I'mjustonewomanwithastorytotell.Iwas22.IhadjustgraduatedfromHarvardCollege.IhadmovedtoNewYorkCityformyfirstjobasawriterandeditoratSeventeenMagazine.Ihadmyfirstapartment,myfirstlittlegreenAmericanExpresscard,andIhadaverybigsecret.MysecretwasthatIhadthisgunloadedwithhollow-pointbulletspointedatmyheadbythemanwhoIthoughtwasmysoulmate,many,manytimes.ThemanwhoIlovedmorethananybodyonEarthheldaguntomyheadandthreatenedtokillmemoretimesthanIcanevenremember.I'mheretotellyouthestoryofcrazylove,apsychologicaltrapdisguisedaslove,onethatmillionsofwomenandevenafewmenfallintoeveryyear.Itmayevenbeyourstory.Idon'tlooklikeatypicaldomesticviolencesurvivor.IhaveaB.A.inEnglishfromHarvardCollege,anMBAinmarketingfromWhartonBusinessSchool.I'vespentmostofmycareerworkingforFortune500companiesincludingJohnson&Johnson,LeoBurnettandTheWashingtonPost.I'vebeenmarriedforalmost20yearstomysecondhusbandandwehavethreekidstogether.Mydogisablacklab,andIdriveaHondaOdysseyminivan.Somyfirstmessageforyouisthatdomesticviolencehappenstoeveryone--allraces,allreligions,allincomeandeducationlevels.It'severywhere.Andmysecondmessageisthateveryonethinksdomesticviolencehappenstowomen,thatit'sawomen'sissue.Notexactly.Over85percentofabusersaremen,anddomesticabusehappensonlyinintimate,interdependent,long-termrelationships,inotherwords,infamilies,thelastplacewewouldwantorexpecttofindviolence,whichisonereasondomesticabuseissoconfusing.IwouldhavetoldyoumyselfthatIwasthelastpersononEarthwhowouldstaywithamanwhobeatsme,butinfactIwasaverytypicalvictimbecauseofmyage.Iwas22,andintheUnitedStates,womenages16to24arethreetimesaslikelytobedomesticviolencevictimsaswomenofotherages,andover500womenandgirlsthisagearekilledeveryyearbyabusivepartners,boyfriends,andhusbandsintheUnitedStates.IwasalsoaverytypicalvictimbecauseIknewnothingaboutdomesticviolence,itswarningsignsoritspatterns.ImetConoronacold,rainyJanuarynight.HesatnexttomeontheNewYorkCitysubway,andhestartedchattingmeup.Hetoldmetwothings.Onewasthathe,too,hadjustgraduatedfromanIvyLeagueschool,andthatheworkedataveryimpressiveWallStreetbank.Butwhatmadethebiggestimpressiononmethatfirstmeetingwasthathewassmartandfunnyandhelookedlikeafarmboy.Hehadthesebigcheeks,thesebigapplecheeksandthiswheat-blondhair,andheseemedsosweet.
