六级写作 评分标准解读+批改报告.docx

本材料由超级课程表和智课网联合整理提供 六级写作 满分评分标准解读 CET作文题采用总体评分方法。从内容和语言两个方面对作文进行综合评判。内容和语言是一个统一体，作文应表达题目所规定的内容，而内容要通过语言来表达。要考虑作文是否切题，是否充分表达思想，也要考虑是否用英语清楚而确切地表达思想，也就是要考虑语言上的错误是否造成理解上的障碍。 满分15分，根据考试大纲的评分标准，给出的最高的14分评分标准为： 14分：切题，表达思想清楚。语言通顺，连贯性较好，基本上无语言错误； 解读： A. “切题，表达思想清楚”：所谓切题，最直观的理解就是“不跑题”，在四六级英语写作中，跑题是比较难的，因为题目会给出非常明确的观点选择或者命题场景。所谓表达思想清楚，尤其对于四六级写作中的给出两种观点，问你同意哪一个观点的时候，这个时候建议同学们要有清晰的观点倾向，即便你会对比两种观点各自的利弊，最终你清晰的preference是给考官非常重要的信息传递。 B. “语言通畅，连贯性较好，基本上无语言错误”：这一条主要要求考生的语言的逻辑和语言的使用能力。在四六级写作中，虽然不像GRE GMAT这种高端逻辑写作对逻辑要求那么高，但是逻辑的通畅也是最基本的，而且只有逻辑通畅了，语言才是通畅的。但是英文作为“形合”语言，既注重“内容逻辑”也注重“形式逻辑”，例如必要的逻辑引导信号，firstly，secondly，whereas，on the other hand，all in all….都能引领读者和考官更加清晰的把握你的文章的起承转合。关于语言错误，建议大家还是要高标准严格要求自己，用最地道的书面英文进行写作，四六级写作还不是真正的文章写作，但是是非常好的过渡都GRE TOEFL、甚至论文写作的桥梁，培养自己书面化表达的严谨性和地道性。 2007年12月六级作文真实批改报告 题型：英语六级作文 题目：2007年12月英语四级作文 原文字数：173 批改时间：2013年08月09日 20：27 Nowadays, we can never fail to find the phenomenon 1that digital devices are used more and more widely, such as mp3,mp4,digital cameras 2, mobile phones, 3and so on.   As we can see, digital devices have a huge 4infuluence on our modern society. First, they are changing our method of working. Using the internet, we are able to work on our computers in our own homes instead of 5in offices, which means our time can be more flexible. Second, our learning efficiency 6are improved by 7them. For instance, we can take some online classes 8to 9promote our studies, whereas mp3 can benefit our English and listening abilities. Third, they help our lives become more meaningful and colorful. For example, with mobile phones 10we can communicate 11more than before, which is good for maintaining the relationships with our family and friends.   As is mentioned above, thanks to the fast development of technology, digital devices are 12becming more and more powerful and useful. Only by adapting to digital devices, can we live a better life. 错误归类分析： 格式错误： 1：批改解释：Poor formation. 修改建议：of digital devices being used. 标点错误： 2: 批改解释：The punctuation mark is not needed. 修改建议：Omit. Use “and”. 10: 批改解释：A comma is missing. 修改建议：, 多余文字： 3: 批改解释：Avoid using this kind of phrase in a formal essay. 修改建议：Omit. 9: 批改解释：Not needed. 修改建议：Omit. 拼写错误(SPL)： 4: 批改解释：Wrong spelling. 修改建议：influence. 12: 批改解释：Wrong spelling. 修改建议：becoming. 介词错误： 5: 批改解释：Not needed. 修改建议：Omit. 8: 批改解释：Poor choice of preposition. 修改建议：of. 时态错误： 6: 批改解释：Verb tense error. 修改建议：is. 选词错误： 7: 批改解释：Poor diction. 修改建议：Using such electronic gadgets like computers. 单词缺失： 11: 批改解释：A word is missing. 修改建议：conveniently. 得分11.0分（满分30分） 切题 Response to the prompt 文章切题，阐说充分 response to the prompt with adequate explanation 文章结构 Organization 段落组织有序，衔接紧密 well-organized structure, clear and close transition as well 论点扩展和细节运用 Development and Details 段落内句与句连接顺畅，句式使用恰当，用词确切，得体，论证充分 coherent structure, appropriate word usage, adequate exampling 语法 Grammar 表达准确，简单句、复杂句使用流畅 accurate expression, advanced vocabulary with a high degree of accuracy 总评 该篇文章得分为11分（满分为30分）。能基本清清楚楚地表达，框架完整，语言、逻辑有小的瑕疵。 范文重写 Of late, the world has gone technological, affecting not only the way people communicate or gather information, but even their life styles. Gadgets like televisions, radios, music players and phones have grave effect on people. Technological advancement in spheres like computers has changed the way people gather information or communicate. Gone are the days of physical letter writing. An email takes just two seconds to reach its destination. Work and studying are made easy because they can be effected from homes. Boredom is a myth as people can listen to music and watch movies on music players and phones. With a phone, a friend or family member is as close as one’s nose. On the whole, a digital world is of noble welcome for it amasses numerous advantages and benefits to people 2008年06月六级作文真实批改报告 题型：英语六级作文 题目：2008年06月英语四级作文 原文字数：188 批改时间：2013年08月13日 15：47 In the contemporary society, with the steady development of information technology, the 1E-books are playing a more and more important role in our 2life. A great 3deal of people hold the view that E-books will replace the traditional 4paper books in the long run.   Apparently, there are several reasons 5of this idea. First, compared to traditional books, the E-books is much more accessible, as there 6exist a lot of 7book resources on the internet. Second, since the cost of producing e-books is much lower8.the  E-books 9boasts the price advantage. Last but not least, the e-books are easier to 10transport 11whereas it is more convenient to keep and store them 12the same.   From my point of view, I insist that E-books 13will be used more and more widely, but it will not replace the traditional books. On one hand, not all the people are accustomed to 14read books on digital devices. On the other hand, reading on digital devices can harm our eyesight. All in all, there are pros and cons in everything, so I believe both kinds of books will continue to exist for a long time. 错误归类分析： 大小写错误： 1：批改解释：Capitalization error. 修改建议：Use “e-books” instead in a sentence. 单复数错误： 2: 批改解释：Error in singular or plural form. 修改建议：“lives” should be used here. 选词错误： 3: 批改解释：Poor word selection. 修改建议：“number” is better here. “a great deal of” is usually used to modify uncountable nouns like time, water and etc. 6: 批改解释：Poor word selection. 修改建议：“are” is better here. 10: 批改解释：Poor word selection. 修改建议：“carry” is right word here. 13: 批改解释：Poor word selection. 修改建议：“should” will be better to go with “insist”. 多余文字： 4: 批改解释：The word is not required here. 修改建议：Delete the word “paper”. 12: 批改解释：The two words are not needed here. 修改建议：Delete them. 介词错误： 5: 批改解释：Error in preposition use. 修改建议：“behind” is better here. 单词重复过多： 7: 批改解释：Repetitive words. 修改建议：“books” or “resources” is better here. 标点错误： 8: 批改解释：Incorrect punctuation. 修改建议：A comma “,” should be used instead here. 单词合并错误： 9: 批改解释：Error in word combination. 修改建议：“boasts of” should be used here. 连词错误： 11: 批改解释：Incorrect conjunction. 修改建议：“as” or “since” is much better than “whereas”. 语态错误(VOI)： 14: 批改解释：Invalid verb use. 修改建议：The word “reading” goes much better with the phrase “be accustomed to”. 得分13.0分（满分30分） 切题 Response to the prompt 文章切题，阐说充分 response to the prompt with adequate explanation 文章结构 Organization 段落组织有序，衔接紧密 well-organized structure, clear and close transition as well 论点扩展和细节运用 Development and Details 段落内句与句连接顺畅，句式使用恰当，用词确切，得体，论证充分 coherent structure, appropriate word usage, adequate exampling 语法 Grammar 表达准确，简单句、复杂句使用流畅 accurate expression, advanced vocabulary with a high degree of accuracy 总评 Logically developed essay. Take more care to write grammatically correct sentences. Check your writing for spelling mistakes, agreement among grammatical elements of each sentence, the use of articles, the choice of singular and plural forms of a word, in case they undermine the effectiveness of your essay. Keep on trying a little harder, you’ll be a very good writer! 范文重写 In contemporary socitety, with the steady develoment of information technology, the e-books are playing a more and more important role in our lives. A great number of people hold the view that e-books wil replace the traditional books in the long run. Apparently, there are several reasons behind this idea. First, compared to traditional books, the e-books is much more accessible free of charge, as there are a lot of e-books on the internet. Second, since the cost of producing e-books is much lower, the e-books boasts of the price advantage. Last but not least, the e-books are easier to carry since it is more convenient to keep and store them. From my point of view, I insist that e-books will be used much more widely, but it will not replace the traditional books. On one hand, not all the people are accustomed to reading books on digital devices. On the other hand, reading on digital devices can harm our eyesight. All in all, there are pros and cons in everything, so I believe both kinds of books wil continue to coexist for a long time. 2011年12月六级作文真实批改报告 题型：英语六级作文 题目：2011年12月英语四级作文 原文字数：174 批改时间：2013年08月17日 15：57 1Success is something everyone looks for, longs for and dies for. But have you ever considered what success is? Some may hold that success means one has 2beautiful life, 3like pretty house, cool cars and great power. It’s indeed one way to define success. But to me, success is doing something one really feels like doing4。5www.E   To achieve this kind of success, one has to bear in mind three essential prerequisites, namely knowing where your interest really lies in, possessing the strong will to pursue your interest and having the diligence to realize your dream. In other words, they are “what” “why” and “how” of success. It’s really luckily good for one, especially for the younger generation of today 6to find 7their 8dreams, follow 9them and in the end, make 10them come true and become successful 11。   Although it’s never easy to succeed, 12progressing with the strong will and diligence 13towards the right direction, you’ll be the one 14。 错误归类分析： 冠词错误： 2：批改解释：An article is missing. 修改建议：Add “a” here. 单词合并错误： 3: 批改解释：Error in word combination. 修改建议：Turn the two words into “with a big”. 13: 批改解释：Poor word combination. 修改建议：Use the following alternatives: “in the right direction” or “towards the right goal”. 标点错误： 4: 批改解释：Punctuation error. 修改建议：Use the English version of the full stop “.”. 6: 批改解释：Punctuation error. 修改建议：Insert “,” here. 11: 批改解释：Punctuation error. 修改建议：Insert “.” here. 14: 批改解释：Punctuation error. 修改建议：Insert “.” here. 词义不明(INC)： 5: 批改解释：Incomprehensible text. 修改建议：Did you copy this essay from the website? If so, you’re wasting both your time and mine. Hope it’s not true. 所有格错误： 7: 批改解释：Incorrect possessive form. 修改建议：Use “his” to keep in line with “one” at the beginning of this sentence. 单复数错误： 8: 批改解释：Error in singular form. 修改建议：More grammatically reasonable to use “dream”, the singular form. 代词错误： 9: 批改解释：Pronoun error. 修改建议：Better to use “it” to agree with “his dream”. 10: 批改解释：Pronoun error. 修改建议：Better to use “it” to agree with “his dream”. 连词错误： 12: 批改解释：Missing conjunction. 修改建议：Insert “after” or “as long as you’re” here. 好样的！ 1: 批改解释：Excellent. 修改建议：Good work of this sentence. 得分24.0分（满分30分） 切题 Response to the prompt 文章切题，阐说充分 response to the prompt with adequate explanation 文章结构 Organization 段落组织有序，衔接紧密 well-organized structure, clear and close transition as well 论点扩展和细节运用 Development and Details 段落内句与句连接顺畅，句式使用恰当，用词确切，得体，论证充分 coherent structure, appropriate word usage, adequate exampling 语法 Grammar 表达准确，简单句、复杂句使用流畅 accurate expression, advanced vocabulary with a high degree of accuracy 总评 To be honest, this essay's written very beautifully. Sadly, it bears much resemblance to an article on the web. I guess that you're not confident enough to have a try by yourself. If you really want to improve on your writing, there's no choice for you but try your hands at actually writing one on your own. So, I strongly recommend that you should have a try all alone. However, you're supposed to have a general understanding the structure of an essay before you set down your ideas. If you feel at a loss about its structure, please refer to this webpage, for the model structures of different categories of writings, and of course you can find similar articles anywhere on the internet, Don't be discouraged by the weaknesses of the essay I pointed out. As long as you work harder and be careful enough with details, you'll be an excellent writer. Trust me. 2008年12月六级作文真实批改报告 题型：英语六级作文 题目：2008年12月英语四级作文 原文字数：190 批改时间：2013年08月14日 11：51 1On the contemporary society, due to the heavy study burden, students are 2sufferiing a great deal psychologically, because the teachers and parents do not pay enough attention to the students' mental health. 3To our horror, some students even choose to commit suicide under such unbearable pressure.   As we can see, we must attach more importance to mental health. To start with, psychologically healthy students usually show greater potential in learning, 4as they are brilliant. Besides, students with healthy mind can have positive attitudes towards life, especially when they are facing difficulties.   Here are some suggestions 5of how to improve the mental health of students. First, there should be psychological courses in the schools, so that students can turn to the psychological professors for help once they have mental trouble. Second, the parents should learn more 6psychological knowledge in order 7fo perceive changes in their children's mind. Third, students 8had better learn to adjust their own minds as well.   As is mentioned above, it is never too 9inordinate to stress the significance of students' mental health, which needs the cooperation 10of the schools, the parents ,the society and the students themselves. 错误归类分析： 介词错误： 1：批改解释：Preposition error. 修改建议：It’s better to use “in” here. 5: 批改解释：Preposition error. 修改建议：“about, for, on”, any of these three is ok here, but not using “of”. 7: 批改解释：Preposition error. 修改建议：“for them too” is needed here. 10: 批改解释：Preposition error. 修改建议：How about “among”? 拼写错误(SPL)： 2: 批改解释：Spelling error. 修改建议：The word should be spelled out as “suffering”. 从句错误： 4: 批改解释：Clause deficiency. 修改建议：It’s vague in meaning. How about “since mental health helps to form good learning habits and keep them work effectively”? 中式英语(CHI)： 6: 批改解释：Chinglish. 修改建议：How about “knowledge about how to deal with mental problems”? 选词错误： 8: 批改解释：Poor word choice. 修改建议：“had better” is a strong phrase which is often used by a superior to order an inferior. 9: 批改解释：Poor word choice. 修改建议：That’s a really big word. It’s awkward here, though. The essay will be rewritten. Pls refer to the new version. 好样的！ 3: 批改解释：Excellent. 修改建议：Good work about this sentence. 得分22.0分（满分30分） 切题 Response to the prompt 文章切题，阐说充分 response to the prompt with adequate explanation 文章结构 Organization 段落组织有序，衔接紧密 well-organized structure, clear and close transition as well 论点扩展和细节运用 Development and Details 段落内句与句连接顺畅，句式使用恰当，用词确切，得体，论证充分 coherent structure, appropriate word usage, adequate exampling 语法 Grammar 表达准确，简单句、复杂句使用流畅 accurate expression, advanced vocabulary with a high degree of accuracy 总评 It's pleasing to find very few grammatical mistakes in this essay. Keep on your work,