基于“语言协同”研析2023年新高考全国Ⅰ卷读后续写.pdf

应考方略英语胜经基于“语言协同研析2023年新高考全国丨卷读后续写广东省河源市东源高级中学余爱香在读后续写过程中，学生要瑞摩原文语言风格，续写语言应延续原文的语言风格。笔者基于语言协同的角度，对2023年新高考1 卷读后续写进行探讨。、真题再现When I was in middle school,my social studies teacher askedme to enter a writing contest,I said no without thinking.I did notlove writing.My family came from Brazil,so English was only mysecond language.Writing was so difficult and painful for me thatmy teacher had allowed me to present my paper on the sinking ofthe Titanic by acting out a play,where I played all the parts.Noone laughed harder than he did.So,why did he suddenly force me to do something at which Iwas sure to fail?His reply:“Because I love your stories.If yourewlling to apply yourself,I think you have a good shot at this.Encouraged by his words,I agreed to give it a try.I chose Paul Reveres horse as my subject.Paul Revere was asilversmith（银匠）in Boston who rode a horse at night on April18,1775 to Lexington to warn people that British soldiers werecoming.My story would come straight from the horses mouth.Nota brlliant idea,but funny,and unlikely to be anyone elseschoice.What did the horse think,as he sped through the night?Didhe get tired?Have doubts?Did he want to quit?I sympathizedimmediately.I got tired.I had doubts.I wanted to quit.But,likeReveres horse,I kept going.I worked hard.I checked myspelling.I asked my older sister to correct my grammar.I checkedout a half-dozen books on Paul Revere from the library.I even reada few of them.When I handed in the essay to my teacher,he read it,laughed out loud and said,“Great.Now,write it again.I wroteit again,and again and again.When I finally finished it,thethought of winning had given way to the enjoyment of writing.If Ididnt win,I wouldnt care.注意：1 续写词数应为1 50 个左右；2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。A few weeks later,when I almost forgot the contest,there camethe news.I went to my teachers ofice afier the award presentation.二、语言特征1.语言形式（1）原文语言形式相对较简单，共5段话，32 3个词，复合句9 句，简单句1 7 句。其中状语从句8 句，定语从句2句，省略句2 句。笔者对原文的语言形式进行了分类，如下表所示。1.When I was in middle school,my social studies teacher askedme to enter a writing contest,I said no without thinking.(when引导时间状语从句）2.What did the horse think,as he sped through the night?(as引导时间状语从句）3.When I handed in the essay to my teacher,he read it,laughedout loud and said，.（w h e n 引导时间状语从句）4.When I finally finished it,the thought of winning had given状语waytothe enjoyment of writing.（w h e n 引导时间状语从句）从句5.Writing was so dfficult and painful for me that my teacher hadallowed me to present my paper on the sinking of the Titanic byactingout a play，（s o.：t h a t 引导结果状语从句）6.If youre willing to apply yourself,I think you have a good shotatthis（i f 引导的条件状语从句）7.IfIdidntwin，I w o u l d n t c a r e.（i f 引导条件状语从句）8.No one laughed harderthan he did.（t h a n 引导比较状语从句)I.my teacher had allowed me to present my paper on thesinking of the Titanic by acting out a play,where I played all the定语parts.（关系副词where引导定语从句）从句2.So,why did he suddenly force me to do something at which Iwassure tofail？（a t w h i c h 此处相当于where，引导定语从句）1.Not a briliant idea,but funny,and unlikely to be anyone elses省略choice.句2.Great.分词Encouraged by his words,I agreed to give it a try.（过去分词结构短语作原因状语）48广东教育高中2 0 2 3年第8 期GUANGDONG JIAOYU GAO ZHONG2.语言风格第二次“When I handed in the essay to my teacher,he read it,（1）细节描写使用了大量的内心独白laughed out loud，a n d s a i d.”，在续写的时候也可以再次沿内心独白是人物心理的直接而真实的坦露，能够有力地用“笑”描写老师，刻画人物形象。表现人物性格。独白部分有：第二段“So，w h y d id h e续写下水文如下：suddenly force me to do something at which I was sure to fail?,A few weehs later,when I almost forgot the contest,there came第四段“I sympathized immediately.I got tired.I had doubts.Ithe news.The news that I won the first prize just felt like awanted to quit.，最后一段“.the thought of winning haddream.I r u b b e d m y e y e s a g a i n a n d a g a i n.M y m i n dgiven way to the enjoyment of writing.If I didnt win,I wouldntraced.What if my teacher had not encouraged me?What if Icare.”。这些内心独白，反映了作者从“自我怀疑、自我否had quit half way?What if my sister had not helped correct my定”到“自我成长、自我突破、享受写作、不在乎结果”的writing?In spite of the pain and doubt on the the road,I eventually心理变化过程，有力反映了作者坚韧不拔的性格特点。made it.Immersed in excitement and joy,I knew it was my（2）使用了“排比”修辞手法social studies teacher that I should be most grateful to.Holding排比即一个句子中把结构相同或相似、意思密切相关、the golden medal on the stage,I couldnt wait to share the good语气一致的词语或句子成串地排列的一种修辞方法，以增强news with him.语言的气势和表达效果。例如第四段“Did hegettired？H a v eI went to my teachers office afier the award presentation.doubts？?D i d h e w a n t t o q u i t？”这三个短小精悍的排比句把马When I told him the news,he laughed out loud just like同时也是作者“我”内心的煌恐、犹豫、怀疑等体现得惟妙before,pride releasing from his eyes.Tears misting my惟肖。vision,I hugged him tightly,expressing my heart-felt gratitude to（3）使用了“反复”修辞手法him.He patted my back gently and said firmly,“Distance反复是英语中一种重要的修辞方法。它主要指作者或根tests a horses strength and time tests a persons perseverance.据表达的需要或为强调某个意思、突出某种感情，有意识地From then on,despite the challenges and obstacles that I faced重复运用某些词语或句子，使之收到修辞上的效果。例如：ahead,I never stopped writing,as Reveres horse never第四段句子“Ikept going.Iworked hard.I checked mystopped speeding that night.spelling.I asked my older sister to correct my grammar.I checked运用了明喻的修辞手法，获得一等奖的消息就像是一out a half-dozen books on Paul Revere from the library.I even个梦feltlikeadream，描写出了作者的“难以置信”。运用readafewof them.”作者采用了“首语反复”的修辞手法，了反复修辞手法again and again，同样刻画出作者难以置信的句首连续用了六个I，恰好表现了作者面对困难时的果断、坚心理活动。mymindraced运用了拟人的修辞方式，race形韧与坚持的性格特征。句子“Iwrote it again，a n d a g a i n a n d象生动地描写出了作者此时往事涌上心头的复杂的内心活动。again.”，a g a i n 进行了三次反复，生动描述了作者为此次比赛运用了排比修辞手法，连续三个Whatif排比设问，既呼应所作的努力，展现了他坚持不懈的一面。了原文，又表达了所取得的成绩与“老师的鼓励、自己的坚（4）对马的描写使用了“拟人”修辞手法持、姐姐的帮忙纠正”息息相关。Immersed inexcitement作者对马进行了心理描写，进行了人格化处理。“Whatand joy，H o ld in g t h e g o ld e n m e d a l均用分词短语作状语。是did the horse think,as he sped through the night?Did he getwhen引导的时间状语从句，laugh呼应原文的laugh，生动形tired?Have doubts?Did he want to quit?But,like Reveres horse,象地刻画出一位阳光开朗、幽默风趣、善于激励学生、充满Ikeptgoing.”这些句子对马进行了人格化描写，使语言表达正能量的老师形象。Tearsmistingmyvision，充分发挥了喻生动、有生命力。体mist的作用，表达生动鲜活。反复运用了“test”，同时三、续文赏析运用了对偶的修辞手法，凸显了“路遥知马力，时间久了才基于以上分析，可知原文使用的语言并不复杂，长难句能检测一个人的坚韧”，升华了文章主题意义。在续写结尾较少，理解难度较低。在所使用的句型结构里，简单句和状处呼应原文，再次将马人格化，描写未来将继续像马一样不语从句出现较多。另外，描写心理活动时，作者着重用简短、知疲惫地坚持写作之路。朴实的内心独白进行描写，而人物间的对话则着墨较少。总而言之，读后续写过程中，首先在阅读环节，学生应从语言协同的角度来讲，续文应沿用原文简洁朴实、生能够对原文语言形式和语言风格进行判断和分析，尤其是对动的语言风格，不必过于追求生僻词和复杂句式。在续写时，原文所使用的修辞手法做出判断，对修辞手法的表达效果做句式方面可简单句与复合句并用，交替使用长短句，并适当出分析、理解和赏析；其次在续写环节，学生应沿用原文语加人非谓语动词和和其它句式结构；此外，可沿用原文内心言风格，恰当地借助多元修辞方法来强化语言效果，增强语独白方式描写心理活动；最后，可恰当应用反复、排比、拟言感染力，使得表达主题更为突出，内容更加生动有趣。人等修辞手法进行描写。值得一提的是，原文中多次提及老师的笑 laugh，第一次“No one laughed harder than he did.”，责任编辑吴昊雷广东教育高中2 0 2 3年第8 期49